No. 6 Reunion: Eros, in The unspoken

 

Desire is a verb

 

In Eros the Bittersweet, Anne Carson posits that desire is a verb, and that its movement is a triangulation. This doesn’t necessarily imply a three person movement, but rather how desire; moves out from the lover toward the beloved, then ricochets back to the lover himself and the hole in him, unnoticed before. Atsuko Asano's Reunion places us in that triangulation.

After 15 years of silence, the return of the story of Shion and Nezumi materializes in front of us. And although No.6 has always been a story that reflects the cruel reality of our world, and how authoritarian governments destroy and kill,  Reunion seems to want us to look at Shion and Nezumi once again and focus on their story beyond serving as vessels of ideals and contrasting forces in a narrative. Now we stare at a more emotional story develop. Allow me to explain it as it follows: if we take into account both extra-textual and textual aspects; the story returns after an open ending and a demand from readers, the title of the work demonstrates its intentions in a more than obvious way.  Reunion. The promise that Nezumi made to Shion before parting ways. Reunion will come.

As for the text, the first lines of the novel quote a fictional book where two lovers have lost their sanity (and their youth) after falling in love. I find this fragment interesting because it serves as a direct reference to Shion and Nezumi: they have both fallen in love with each other and lost their youth to the violence they have been subjected to. And of course, the mention of going mad or losing one's sanity because of love is a motif as old as time. In more of Carson’s words: 
“I’m in love, I’m not in love! I’m insane, I’m not insane!”

In this way, Asano answers a question that arose from a certain ambiguity in the original No. 6 series: Is the relationship between Shion and Nezumi romantic in nature? The simplest answer has always been yes, although ambiguity can be interpreted in the text. For example, there are moments where Asano refuses to limit the connection between them to something romantic:
“There was only one emotion that welled up inside Shion, and it was love. It was neither friendship nor adoration. Neither romance nor awe. Just love.”

However, Asano's refusal to give the relationship a name does not mean that it doesn’t  exist. In fact, she shapes this triangulation through a very conventional love story structure, where the receiver (grammatically) is the longing lover (Shion), while the giver (Nezumi) merges with the object; he gives himself. The two main characters in No. 6 fulfill these roles in the narrative—in the fable. Without that relationship, there is no process, and without process, there is no fable.
Although this is the clear structure, Reunion rectifies the space in which Shion and Nezumi's relationship is situated and under what parameters it moves. That is, we find ourselves at the point where Shion launches his desire (eros, love) toward Nezumi. But Nezumi, being far away (physically at first), cannot receive what was projected toward him, so it returns to Shion again, leaving a sense of emptiness.

The Lover Who Waits

Shion is the lover who waits and gives up a part of himself because he loves. He was like that from that first encounter with Nezumi where he gave up his stability and privileges, all for the gray eyes and the delicate, almost fragile, appearance of a young Nezumi, soaked and injured. And he is not afraid of admitting to it, for he declares the state he is in, in the original series, by saying with pride:

“No one is greedier than I am. I’m sure no one desires another as strongly as I do.”

Then, once again, he returns to his state of perpetual wait (giving up something once more: his youth and innocence) after saying goodbye to Nezumi at the end of No. 6.

This separation is already part of the triangulation of desire; Shion waits and is miserable (bitter), but at the same time, waiting is what keeps him alive and able to continue his task as chairman of the No. 6 restructuring committee. Desire is bittersweet.
And it's these moments, where Shion literally expresses his status as a waiting lover, that answer any doubts or ambiguities:

"Why do I desire this much from you? Nezumi, I... I can't hold myself back anymore. I'm so pathetic I can't even bring myself to mock myself for it, but... I miss you."

This is a declaration of love. What does Shion desire from Nezumi? He's always sought to fully understand him, to unravel what Nezumi is, all of his secrets. In that precise moment, the desire is simple, presented in its most natural form; what Shion most yearns for is to have him there, by his side. Then, lifting the veil of ambiguity that might have cast a shadow over him years ago, Shion, in a string of words, clarifies that what he seeks from Nezumi is not friendship;

“Nezumi’s not a close friend,” Shion said. “I want to become true friends with you. I want to hang out and chat about whatever; I want to laugh and eat together. I want to turn to you for serious advice, and receive your advice in return. But, Inukashi—I don’t desire any of that from Nezumi. I don’t want to become close friends with him.”

Here his message is clear, despite communicating through the unsaid. In the obfuscation, the nature of his desire is revealed,  and perhaps in its rawest form: what he desires from the other is carnal and physical. It’s the only thing Shion hasn’t obtained from Nezumi, what keeps him expectant and in that state of longing, surpassed by a new found frustration. 

It’s not that Shion expects anything in return; this isn’t a transactional relationship. Rather, it's an attempt to steer this relationship, which otherwise remains in eternal limbo. What do you want from me? We're not enemies, but we're not friends. Both have given up parts of themselves for the other's sake.
For with a lover, you always give up something. 

During the first 3 chapters of Reunion  Shion, just like Barthes proposes in A lover’s discourse, is in love since he is waiting. " The lover’s fatal identity is precisely this: I am the one who waits. "
And waiting eats him alive; he wants Nezumi's presence, his body. Lovers leave something of themselves in the other. Nezumi already left something of himself in Shion (a mark, a change), and now Shion burns to place his desire in him.

Rat in a Trap of Nostalgia

But understanding Shion's desire and motivations isn't enough; desire is a movement from one extreme to the other, and at that other side, far away and wandering, lies Nezumi enveloped by mysticism.

Nezumi has always been a wandering being, free at first glance. You can't control me, says everything about him. As we learn about his idiosyncrasies, we can understand more about the barrier he erects around himself. Whether it's called self-protection, survival, or trauma response, Nezumi is complex. The constant in his character is his inability to stay still. 

Reunion uses its structure to exacerbate this feeling of emptiness without Nezumi; his name is present on every page, but his physical presence is nonexistent. He haunts the narrative the same way he haunts Shion's thoughts. 

The story opens with Shion's perspective, and the narration focuses on him. It then switches to Inukashi, and even Shion's mother, Karan. Finally, it's the last chapter that introduces us to Nezumi and his thoughts. At first, this structural decision seemed jarring to me—Shion's overflowing passion had permeated the text up to that point, and the change of location to Nezumi at such an important and emotionally charged moment left a weak impression on me––. Later, I understood that the meaning lies in this difference. 

Nezumi is the absent lover, the beloved that dodges the lover’s advances: not precisely because of a lack of interest, on the contrary, the intensity of his desire threatens to carry him away, to lose agency.  But as Anne Carson writes later on Eros the Bittersweet; "The presence of want awakens in him nostalgia for wholeness. His thoughts turn toward questions". 
That is exactly the process Nezumi goes through here;  he left (ran away) and came back two years later because he desires that wholeness––And he’s left with myriad questions. He is weak, not in vain some words by Shion are enough to make Nezumi waver and give in to the nostalgia of that memory: 

“In the midst of all that torrential wind and rain, a window suddenly opened, and a young boy, arm thrown wide, cried out, almost as if he were saying, “Come on in!” Somehow, beyond the realm of all possibility, Nezumi heard a voice calling out for him to come here.“

Upon evoking this memory Nezumi melts. He falls apart. He’s been defeated. Despite his internal struggle and his reluctance to fall before that memory, he “let himself succumb to those intense, brilliant waves” and “the outcome of this match had been decided”. 

Because even if memory is simply that, a memory and nostalgia is a warm feeling of illusion (as opposed to the reality in front of him,) there is a constant: Shion’s desire calls for him and Nezumi’s own desire for wholeness comes right back, like moth to a flame. It does not matter that the absence of Nezumi is physical or emotional, the transitional nature of desire makes it always triangulate between both of them. And if succeeding entails for Nezumi to not succumb before the desire that calls for him, then he has already lost. 

The lover loses something in the process. A character like him––the beloved–– has always chosen agency.  But he inevitably renounces to it when confronted with the lover’s more active desire (the passion and love the lover holds within can be overbearing and sometimes perceived as an active force). That is the part of him that is gone, a little bit of his agency disappears ( he probably resolved as much when he decided to come back, even if subconsciously, hence the questions). Only then can their desires meet in the middle.

And even the kiss they share within this last chapter is a symbol of their desires finally mingling: all their previous kisses had carried a particular purpose, whether it was a good-bye kiss, and a promise kiss…Of course there was desire ––carnal–– that moved them to make the specific choice to communicate through a touch of lips, but the message is what remains. This last kiss, more than a message, is a result of the desire that found its place in the aftermath of Shion’s receiving what Nezumi finally decided to offer which is himself.

End – And

 

Is then the end of this traveling desire? one may assume that much since we have decided that the absence is what prompts the desire. Now having Shion and Nezumi reunited must signify the fusion of both desires and thus, an end to the longing and the triangulation. 
However, the future is uncertain. 

The scene by the end of chapter 4 has the reunion finally happen and Nezumi yielding at last, but most of that movement is done internally and not fully communicated. Sure, the kiss is enough prove, it is a symbol. The physical absence might be eradicated ( Shion decides he will follow Nezumi if he were to leave once again and Nezumi can’t impede it, he is helpless), but the emotional emptiness remains a consequence of Nezumi’s own trauma. He thinks of how he’s submitting to desire yet conceals his. He melts at the thought of Shion’s passion, but his words are curt in response. The wall is still up. In the end, does it matter? 

Shion sees through Nezumi’s contradicting actions, even if the space between Nezumi’s words is hollow. But perhaps it does matter because Shion requires the certainty of words, he, unlike Nezumi, is assertive and his bluntness defines him. 

 A kiss may have fulfilled that physical desire after two years of absence but rapidly Shion jumps to compromising “Nezumi– Delay one year for me”, he demands. 
No promises are made because the story ends in a cliffhanger, and we have more installments to come, more pieces to put together, more movement to observe. 

Desire continues its movement through the spaces between Shion and Nezumi; the emotional gaps and the separation after a passionate kiss. Shion wondered before:

“what can i do to bridge this barrier between us, this chasm?"

Reunion may offer the definitive answer, but for now we have to sit and observe how desire is projected from Shion to Nezumi, and vice versa, ad infinitum. That is Eros, after all.