The lover's fatal identity

 Flying south there were birds that seemed like minuscule ink stains, Nezumi stared at the view with some melancholy and then set his eyes on the road a few meters from where he was sitting, at top of the ruins of the West block. It was early, the sun was not up yet and things were surrounded by a blue halo that attributed some mysticism to them, even Nezumi had that in between night and day glow. He was waiting for someone, he was waiting for Shion.  He threw a rock aimlessly, it landed a few meters away, then stood up and walked in circles, fidgeting… He had not seen Shion in over a week, how many hours could that be? He was not the one to keep count, Shion was more fit for that role, and they had been apart for longer before that…years. But something, perhaps because of his promise to Shion, I’ll stay with you until the election happen, made Nezumi feel a new sense of anxiety, a pang of sadness. He stared at the dark blue soon to be illuminated sky and he thought of how they had said their goodbyes, how Shion spent several minutes stressing himself out, trying to find a way to be with Nezumi even when all he could do was work and work and work, he didn’t have time to travel all the way to the west block and go back each morning. Nezumi understood, and simply said they’d see each other again, that he wouldn’t go anywhere. Shion had complained, almost childishly when Nezumi took him by the waist and teased him.

 After that Shion hugged him and left. 

All of this that you are doing… building something off its ruins…you are so… impressive Nezumi wanted to say, but he kept the words. Some day he would find the courage, and not because he cannot be earnest, he usually is, but with Shion’s position as chairman and this new in between…he never foresaw, he never predicted… for him it was all destruction. He was speechless and resorted to having mental dilemmas about it.

And it was the second day he woke up this early and went for a walk, casually near the main road…a pathway that would show any person, vehicle or animal coming from No.6. It was an elevated point and if someone were to walk their way there, Nezumi would see them first. The first day he did not see much movement, he left once the sun was up and bright.  He came back at night, and although he stayed late, perhaps around one or two am, he did not see who he wanted to see. That morning was the same, the sky had shown its dark hues and then the red tints that announced the sun coming up from the horizon, that was most likely his cue to leave for the day.  Nezumi had things to do, and even if he didn’t… walking around like that was proving to be a waste of time, to be controlled by his emotions …. Who are you? He wondered, taking a few steps back. Well…at least the sky is pretty, soon it will be bright blue.

 
“Where are you going?” Nezumi stopped and turned around. His surroundings remained obscured, most things were shadows, but still he could’ve seen… But he did not, nor did he hear a sound; steps, the crushing of gravel underneath, a breath…  
Shion smiled, or that was what he was able to recognize on his face, his vision took a couple of seconds to accustom again, to the dark blue hues that seemed to shine from within. 

“I’m going back home” He replied rather quickly. Shion walked closer, now Nezumi was able to hear the steps approaching and he could make out the shape of Shion’s body with so much clarity, his bright hair and the luminosity of his eyes. 

“So you were patrolling the area?” Shion’s voice was a bit inquisitive but it also had this air of nonchalance. Nezumi was accepting defeat, but he still tried.

“Yes, unlike you I care about my safety and survival. I came to check the zone” He said at last. 

Nezumi took a look at Shion’s appearance and realized he had his regular clothes on, only that his hair was messy and the way his jacket was buttoned up, revealed how disheveled he was.Nezumi wanted to ask, did you run here first thing in the morning? Or Did something happen so you had to hurry? Or are you such a child? Can’t you take care of your own appearance?  
All those questions died in the back of his throat, for Shion’s arms hugged him tightly from behind–– another unforeseen move–– and all that came out of his mouth was air, a tiny gasp.

“But Nezumi, isn’t pretty safe up here?” Shion murmured against Nezumi’s neck. Nezumi couldn’t tell whether Shion’s breath or his tight embrace was warmer, more affecting. He did not move away from it.

“It is now” He said, closing his eyes. He was tired of keeping a façade, it was very early and no one could see them,  not even Shion could see his face in this hug, so Nezumi allowed himself to reply in such way. And to rest his body against Shion whose body was an oppression on his own.
Always so warm and intense… 

“Were you waiting for me?” Shion said, his voice sounded delighted. Almost extremely.
Nezumi had wanted to say no, feed the lie that he created and escape. But once again, he was helpless in Shion’s arms. Such was his faith. 

“yes” he yielded, a sigh escaped him. “Why so early anyways? Is everything okay?” He turned around, freeing himself from Shion’s arms. Finally they locked eyes at a distance that allowed a more intimate conversation. The sun was taking its time…allowing a secret solace in the blue hour.

“I had so much to do so I stayed in the office all night. I left an hour ago. I thought I could make it to see you in the morning and have something to eat. I also have some fruit that my mom gave me and…” Shion spoke very lightly, like in passing. Nezumi attempted to contain himself but failed as he looked into Shion’s eyes, he had been taken by a feeling more powerful than he himself was– something that defeated his self awareness and shame. He took Shion’s face in his hands and kissed him.

A long moment passed, a light breeze announced the morning. Nezumi backed away slowly, Shion seemed to chase after Nezumi’s lips but opened his eyes when he understood the separation was definitive.

“Look over there” Nezumi said, pointing at the horizon. Shion did as told, the sun had come out, the colors in the sky changed. The view in front of them resembled a painting. 

“Nezumi I missed you” Shion said, looking at Nezumi instead of the sunrise. The light was imminent, Nezumi had to look at it, but he then looked at Shion. The white of his hair shone brighter. I want to bask in this light…

 
“You know…I didn’t use the right words before but I am so proud of you” Nezumi said with a careful cadence, turning his head back at the sunrise.

Shion did not speak.

“You are brave and courageous, even when I thought of you as weak. Shion, you are capable of reconstructing what I sought to destroy. You possess this innate power that I cannot explain, no matter how much I try. I have come to admire you…that is what I’ve been wanting to tell you” 
Nezumi took his eyes off the sky and looked at Shion. A tender silence dripped all over, like the sun light, less fractured but as beautiful. Shion’s smile began to tremble, like announcing the impeding tears. Nezumi came to his rescue, he held Shion’s face once more. Delicate hands and soft voice; “Don’t cry. You’ve accomplished to so much. I am so proud of you”.

A part of Nezumi wanted to hold that body that tremulously seemed to melt under his touch. To keep reassuring Shion with words, maybe kiss his lips in litany until they both forgot about everything. But he had to be realistic and the morning had arrived fast and full, it was time to go home.

“You must be hungry after working so much. I say we eat the fruit you brought while I cook some of my magical concoctions… It’ll be a feast! ” 

Shion had stopped crying but his eyes were still wet, those glassy eyes stared at Nezumi and only him. “I can’t imagine anything better than that” Shion said, at last.

Thus they walked down the familiar path back home, to their tiny room, the old stove, the chair and the books. The morning had come and they had so much to say, to engage in afable conversation or to simply bask in each other’s presence. 

By the time noon came to be, the sun decaying and orange, two silhouettes became one.